I've been doing so well, I've shocked my entire treatment team. I saw my dietician today and she had a look of amaze when she asked,"What changed? What happened to change you so much?" I told her I don't really know how to explain it. I started to take interest and treating my body with kindness and taking care of it. I think I knew I changed when I began to believe in myself. I don't HAVE to purge or CAN'T eat. I have a choice. I'm not powerless to my eating disorder. ED is not stronger than me.
For so long I truly believed there was no hope. I "couldn't" fight Ed. But I think that's part of Ed's strategy- to make us feel like there's no choice. It's not easy. Sometimes you feel like you're going crazy and you're too tired to fight. But you can fight. And you've got people who love you who will help you stand up when your knees feel too weak. Never give up. It's worth it.
This is wonderful! So happy for you.
ReplyDeleteWow, you inspire me to get better. I know its a journey and that it is a slow process, thank you for sharing yours, it has really helped me.
ReplyDelete"I think I knew I changed when I began to believe in myself." SO TRUE....I have a lot to say to this, but in a nutshell... I personally have felt a change in my overall attitude lately due to starting to realize that I CAN believe and trust in the intuition that I've been created with, in more than one way...and also that what is right for one person may not be right for another when it comes to recovery and life in general. Anyways...that's awesome that you've had that "revelation".
ReplyDelete"I have a choice. I'm not powerless to my eating disorder." YES!!! (Though sometimes it's still so difficult to do what I know I "should" do.) Again, lots of opinions about that statement, but won't bore you with my drawn out thoughts...
Keep fighting!!
Aww, you are so strong! You make me want to keep fighting :) <3 ya girly!!!
ReplyDeletei love this! <3
ReplyDeleteand you DESERVE this freedom that you are feeling, and this love for yourself ;)
Wow that's amazing! Keep it up, you deserve to be well! This made me smile :)
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration. It's weird because I watch all your youtube videos and read your blog and I feel like I know you... yet I'm a 17 year old bulimic living in Australia :P I'll stop talking now so I stop sounding so stalkersih :) X
ReplyDelete