Thursday, March 3, 2011

Depression

I can hardly believe it's been almost a month since my last post. It's not like nothing has been happening. I'm 99% sure my pro zac isn't working. I've constantly been having really low lows. That ED voice is overwhelming. Sometimes I just curl up and try to block it out. Sounds so pathetic, doesn't it?

I woke up a bit ago at 3am with a stuffed nose, sore throat, and itchy eyes. I'm still a bit surprised how quickly this cold or whatever it is hit me. I usually have a day or two of forewarning, where I can tell I'm getting a bug. I suppose my immune system isn't in tip top shape when I'm so malnutritioned and such.

I'm not really losing weight right now, but I'm looking more emanciated.

I just started a new therapy group tonight. I think it'll be good though I'm slightly triggered by the fact there's other girls my age, around my size or much smaller. My competitive side wants to "play the game" with them and I have to stop my thoughts from going there.

I'm sorry...so many random thoughts. I can't think straight enough to make a good blog. I really don't feel like I'm altogether here at present. I just figured I should at least write something, though poorly written, since it's been far too long. I'll try to make a more comprehensive blog when I'm not feeling so out of it.

Hope you're all doing well.