Wednesday, October 3, 2012

No Moderation

Since my life has been a whirlwind of weddings, getting ready to move out, and other social activities, I was planning on this week being a mellow one. Somehow though, I found myself committing to little things here and there. I realized yesterday how my low-key week has turned into another very busy week.
I'm beginning to feel stressed about everything. I love my friends and family. I WANT to hang out with them. But I need some alone time too. Seems like I won't be getting much of it for awhile.
Amazingly enough, I haven't binged or purged in four days. I struggled with purging last week so I'm proud of myself for getting back on track.
I think I'm PMSing. I'm easily irritable and I snap at people, especially my parents, with absolutely no good reason. I ended up calling my mom yesterday to apologize for my moodiness.
On a slightly lighter note, I've been overdosing on beets. My mom got fresh picked beets this weekend and boiled them. I've literally been having about 5 large beets every day. TMI: My urine and poo are red, purple, or pink. I'm taking this as a definite sign I need to back off the beets, which won't be too difficult. I'm sick of them already. That's my problem- I don't know how to moderate. When I like something, I have A LOT of it. Then I can't stand even the thought of eating/drinking it for a few years at least. This has happened to me for years with pears, oranges, bananas, yogurt, vodka (more recent haha), peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, etc. The list goes on and on. It took me 11 years to finally eat a PB & J sandwich again!!!
Anyways, back to work. Just wanted to vent a little and check in ;)


  1. Sometimes it's good to be constantly busy, keeps me occupied and distracted, but making sure I'm not becoming overwhelmed. It's just finding a balance which is different for everyone and even for every day.
    Well done on your 4 day streak, keep at it<3

  2. So with you on the moderation-thing. It blows massively...
    Hope you carry on with feeling good x's

  3. Congratulations for not B/P!! I'm very proud of you, we all know how hard it is! Keep going like this.

  4. Please listen to your needs. I think, its a step forward to recognise that you dont have enough time for yourself because its quite common to rather do to much to provide ourselves from negative thoughts instead of relaxing. Im so proud of you. I can only suggest that it might be more important to take an afternoon of. Your friends will understand. Its going to be difficult because obviously, you love spending time with them. Nonetheless, you are not responsable for filling there needs constantly.
    Well, its of course easier to give you this advise than following it. Dont we all have problems such as trying to fulfill the expectations we sense others might have?
    Id love to see a new video on youtube if you are ready.

    Much love and admiration.

    Eva L.

  5. my policy: if you want to eat something, eat it! if you don't, DON'T!!!