I am tired. Recovering from an eating disorder is constantly fighting the voices in your head. I feel like I've been fighting for recovery and delving deep into the root issues of my ED for so long, and now I've come to the point where I'm tired of fighting it. It's too hard to fight. It's easier to give in.
I still have that number in my head, but I don't really feel the need or drive to reach it. It's not about weight anymore, though gaining weight is still quite frightening. I just...don't really care if I lose anymore. I just don't want to eat. If I eat, I purge.
I feel numb. I feel kind of lost and unsure of everything.
All I really know, is this isn't a fun place to be.