My anxiety is about all the things that could go wrong. The car breaking down and missing our flight. Car accident. Plane crashing. I'm disaster conscious, but that's what Xanax is for, right?
I've gone three days with no behaviors which is GREAT! Mentally I'm struggling. I feel so large and wobbly. I'm hyper sensitive to when my skin is touching skin- forearm to bicep, thigh to thigh. Every bump aka curve of my body I'm painfully aware of and to be honest, I really hate it. But I have motivation. I need to be well for this trip and I don't want to be sick. I don't want to purge. I won't even let it be an option in my head.
I woke up early this morning and made vegan banana muffins which were DELICIOUS. I know my friend Andi has been having a rough time lately and she's been wanting to try this recipe so I dropped by her work and brought her two muffins :) I spent most the day running around doing errands and got to chat with the lovely Kristie for a good long while. I really really love that girl! My grandma came over and in grandma Wilson fashion, bought three different neck pillows for me because she's worried about my neck on the trip (I was in a minor car accident about a month ago). OH YEAH! My 15 year old brother got back from his white water rafting trip in the Grand Canyon. I swear he got bigger on this trip. He's growing up and it's so weird sometimes. He got me a bracelet in AZ which I love. He was so cute- he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him today so we ended up watching John Carter tonight. Brother-sister bonding time!
Anyways, I better go to bed but I just wanted to update all of you lovely people on my life. I've been meaning to blog more often, so I'll be trying to keep this blog updated. I'll prob make a YT vid tomorrow too because there's some things I've been wanting to talk about and sometimes it's so much better on video rather than written form.