I don't really want to talk about it, simply recognize it happened and it sucked. However, I had the nicest cop ever. He didn't give me the ticket I deserved, which would have been much more expensive. Before he left, he told me this doesn't mean I'm a bad person, I just made a mistake. I did really well with it all until he said that- then the tears started flowing. It took a good 30 minutes for them to stop.
What can I say, life happens. After my blissful weekend, life is really raining on my parade. My grandpa's dementia is getting really bad. It's so hard to watch this great, wonderful man lose his mind. Ryan didn't get a job he wanted in town and there's just so many uncertainties, it's hard not to live in fear.
I also couldn't exercise Monday and Tuesday. I fell down icy stairs Friday and it really messed with my back. I felt like I had a pinched nerve or something and it was really bothering me. I was surprised by how much I freaked out by not being about to exercise. It was a wakeup call for sure...I need to watch myself and make sure I don't become addicted to exercise again. I worked out today and am feeling much better about myself, though I don't think the problem was ever really addressed.
I'm also getting SUPER SUPER burnt out on my food. I've been eating the same thing everyday for the past few months. The thought of another potato for dinner makes me feel nauseous. So I'm switching it up starting Monday! Ryan asked me why I can't just start now. I told him I needed to finish the food I have now. True, most of what I eat isn't going to go bad for awhile. I realized though I have a problem with having more than one food option per meal in the house. It's easier for me to have just enough food and every meal to be predictable. It eases the anxiety of it all. This realization only surprised me because I didn't know I still struggled with it. I mean, I'm in recovery but apparently I'm not "recovered" yet. I still have food issues, even though I am not bingeing or purging or restricting. I wonder if I'll ever be recovered???
I was thinking about posting what I've been eating on a daily basis for the past few months and what I plan to switch to as of Monday. Let me know if you guys are interested and I'll make the post tonight!