This weekend has been amazing. I had two whole days of no bingeing or purging or restricting. My emotions have done their crazy roller coaster thing like I expected. It's been wonderful though. I mean, I can handle the overwhelming emotions- I've learned how to deal with it. It's the eating disorder I can't stand and it hasn't controlled my actions for two days!
I was sitting out on the porch this evening. It was so quiet and peaceful. It smelled like rain, though it hasn't rained yet. It will though. A storm is coming. This weekend has been that quiet before the storm. I know I struggle most during the work week. I'm under a lot more pressure and stress to perform well, make everyone happy, not step on any toes, be productive, pay bills, be social...It's when I'm weakest.
- plan to eat food every few hours.
- bring my own food. Don't eat work food. BAD IDEA.
- take anxiety meds when I need them. I hate taking meds and rarely use them but they actually do help.
- text or call someone safe when I'm feeling like I'm going to engage in ED behaviors.
So, I'm going into this next week reluctantly. I'll fight. I just wish the war was already won.