As I've mentioned in the previous post, I'm really making progress. I've been eating and keeping down 700-800 calories and only purging one, sometimes three, times a day. Today I worked a long shift, constantly moving and never really stopping, so I planned to eat 900-1000. Ok, so I know it's not that much of an increase but it freaked me out! I felt so horrible about eating those extra 100-200 calories. I was feeling so good about eating more again, but just adding that little bit was too much apparently.
Sometimes I feel like a normal person who eats normally, and it scares me. I like actually having energy to do things and I'm so much happier when I've been eating well. But I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my coping mechanism. I'm honestly trying but once that scale starts inching up, I don't know what I'll do.
So goes life.
Shout out to Leech, who might be the only one who reads this blog :) You're wonderful and it's great to know you've been through recovery and made it out alright. Thanks for your encouragement. You put a smile on my face!