I've been doing so well, I've shocked my entire treatment team. I saw my dietician today and she had a look of amaze when she asked,"What changed? What happened to change you so much?" I told her I don't really know how to explain it. I started to take interest and treating my body with kindness and taking care of it. I think I knew I changed when I began to believe in myself. I don't HAVE to purge or CAN'T eat. I have a choice. I'm not powerless to my eating disorder. ED is not stronger than me.
For so long I truly believed there was no hope. I "couldn't" fight Ed. But I think that's part of Ed's strategy- to make us feel like there's no choice. It's not easy. Sometimes you feel like you're going crazy and you're too tired to fight. But you can fight. And you've got people who love you who will help you stand up when your knees feel too weak. Never give up. It's worth it.