I'm sorry I haven't been around much, on this blog or my youtube. I guess I just haven't felt like talking about things, especially eating disorder related topics. I had a rough few days and so starting Saturday, I began a three-day detox from Ed. haha :) seriously though!
I decided I'm not going to allow myself to exercise until I've been purge free for three consecutive days. I increased my calories because I know I wasn't getting enough, which was causing the bingeing/purging, self-hatred thoughts. It's crazy but I truly believe that played a big role in why the end of this week was so rough. A week and a half ago I got this idea that my body only REALLY needs x amount of calories, about 600-800 calories less than I've been eating for the past two months. After four days of lessening my caloric intake, I crashed. I haven't had urges to binge and purge and it hit me suddenly. I was so confused- why is this happening? It was only a few days ago I made the connection.
So I've increased my calories back to what I was eating before- and let me tell you, I'm full all the time, but that tells me I really did decrease my calories too much. I've been juicing with our juicer everyday and getting lots of nutrients!!! My favorite is 1 beet (including beet greens), 1 apple, 3-4 carrots, 2 celery stalks, 1/2 lime (without the rind), and a 1/2 inch fresh ginger. SO YUMMY!!!!!
I hate feeling full all the time and I really want to exercise NOW, but like I said- this is a detox from Ed. I'm eating every two hours, getting lots of nutrients, and I think this is what I need. If tomorrow goes as well as today and yesterday, than I can exercise on Tuesday! Some motivation ;)