Yes, that's right. I am PROUD of my body! This feeling has been slowly growing. I'm becoming comfortable in my new body size. No longer am I aching to be twenty-some pounds less. I like this body. It is strong, nourished, nurtured, beautiful. Are there imperfections? Of course. I'm not blind! My acne is flaring up, I have stretch marks, currently my skin is translucent, my legs are pretty bruised because they just bruise easily (it would probably help if I didn't run into things so often), I still have the refeeding belly though it's not as bad...Yes, I'm not perfect.
But there's so many beautiful things about my body too! I love seeing muscle on my body again. I can run for miles. My legs are very toned. I have pretty green eyes and full lips. My hair is healthy and shiny. I have long piano fingers, my skin isn't pasty grey-green anymore! It has color and that's a beautiful thing! I look like a human again haha.
Part of me wonders if this is my ego being blown up way too much, but I don't think so. I'm becoming confident in myself- my body and personality. I still struggle with body image and behaviors, but they aren't my daily reality anymore. I'm starting to like me :)
Weight-wise, I'm still technically ten pounds away from my ideal body weight. Thinking about that is overwhelming and makes me feel so anxious, so I'm simply going to savor this moment of being proud of me. I'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Today has enough worries of its own. And yes, I just paraphrased the Bible ;)
yay!
ReplyDeleteoh that's great sweetie, it's always a wonderful thing when we can finally look in the mirror and love what we see, I'm very happy for you.
I hope I can one day be as lucky and love the skin I'm in..
(hugs)
Love reading this. It's so hopeful and Love that verse btw :) and even if you hit a bump or hard day, you have this to look at and remind yourself that you are more than okay, you have many things that are great about you. And not that just everyone else can see but that you can too! You are an really amazing person and I'm so glad you are finding not only the physical strength in recovery but the mental, emotional, and well just the whole deal :) You are great- clearly :) Cheering you on and really thankful for your vlog and blog because you have paralleled so much where I have been and felt too! <3 xxjalynn
ReplyDeleteI simply adore this post of yours! No reason to be ashamed of feeling confident. As you say it: body AND personality :) one does not go without the other. Anyways, loved reading your lines. Picked my spirit up a tiny bit ;) love xx
ReplyDeleteIt's Amy-Louise here darling - and my God this post made me smile today! I love reading how far you have come into recovery and body acceptance, it really makes me so proud of you. Remember I am always here for you :)
ReplyDeleteI've been a lurker on your blog and youtube for several months now, but I just wanted to say, I am soooo very very happy for you, I hope that one day I will feel the same about my body. Thanks for making your videos and writing here, even when you're not in the best of spots, it really helps to have someone who is genuine about what they are going through, but not pro-ana. It helps me not feel quite so alone. =)
ReplyDeleteHi there,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for a few months now. I am writing to ask if I could add your link on my website that I started earlier this month to show people how hard eating disorders are - both physically and mentally and the dangers of PRO-ANA or PRO-MIA.
If you want to check it out and let me know either way I would be highly grateful!
http://ourlivesareastory.weebly.com/
Kind regards,
Chloe.