Thursday, March 22, 2012


There was a comment left by an anon on a recent post of mine about how I caused him/her to relapse into their eating disorder after three months of no behaviors.

To that person, I'm sorry you relapsed. I know how scary it is to find yourself back in that place again where hope seems non-existent and everyday is a blur of behavior after behavior. But to be honest, I'm not the cause of your relapse. One thing I've learned from being in treatment and interacting with other girls with eating disorders, is that ANYTHING can be a trigger. In treatment and group therapy, there's rules and guidelines we follow to reduce the amount of triggers that may come up, but even then, you can still be triggered.

I'm very careful about what I write in my blog and what say in my YT videos. I'm not going to say my weight. I'm not going to focus focus focus on numbers because that would obviously be Ed talking if all I ever wrote about was numbers. I'm going to be real and honest about my struggles though because that's the kind of person I am. Maybe you shouldn't be reading ED blogs if you're in such a vulnerable place right now? Best wishes to you in your recovery.

To everyone else, I was thinking about triggers and here's the thing- no matter what, you're going to be triggered. People comment on my size and weight, and talk to each other about dieting, numbers, food, etc. I'm triggered everyday. It's smart to protect yourself from the triggers you can avoid, like certain friends, magazines, etc. But the truth is you will still be triggered sometimes. It's how you react to the trigger that matters. If you use behaviors in reaction to triggers, than yes you're going to relapse. If you use healthy coping mechanisms instead- talking about it with a friend, therapist, writing, walking, drawing etc.- you're going to be okay and stay out of "the danger zone." Does any of this make sense?

I guess what I'm saying is be aware of what you're triggers are, take precautions, but also have something set up in the event that you ARE triggered, so that you already have a plan and have another option other than leaning on you're eating disorder.


  1. Well said <3 <3 <3

  2. I don't think your blog or YT videos are triggering (at least to me). They are helpful, I don't feel so alone in my recovery when I read your blog/watch your videos. Thank you for sharing your journey.

  3. That noter needs to take accountability for his/her own actions. I am sorry someone would put that blame on just proves how in their ED they are. Triggers ARE EVERYWHERE!!!

  4. holy moly! it is really not fair to blame someone else for their relapse; it is ultimately in his/her power to either relapse or not. im really proud that you took a very mature stance on this and didn't take it personally and didn't blame yourself. because you wanna know something in ALL HONESTY?? YOU ARE NOTTTTTT TO BLAME! i feel like that person needed something/someone to blame other than himself/herself. and its not that blame needs to be made. that's isn't my point. my point (just like you said) is that person should be looking to himself/herself for where he or she faultered and just learn from it and continue really isn't right just to "willy nilly" try to fault others. good on you rae for not agreeing with that blogger! xoxo a