Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Feeling Odd

Right now, I can't tell if I'm having a panic attack, or if something is really wrong with me. I feel like I can't breathe. So, I'm attempting to distract myself by blogging and if that fails, I'll go get one of my parents. It wouldn't surprise me if I was having a panic attack. At the same time, I also wouldn't be surprised if something is wrong with me. Both are plausible considering my current physical and mental state. 

The past four days have been a series of binges and purges, at least four times a day. Thankfully, I managed to keep dinner last night and dinner tonight, but I'm sure it's not good on my body. Inevitably, the number on the scale has gone up, which hasn't really encouraged me to eat normally. I tend to panic and restrict, which then sets me up for a binge. Go figure. 

I'm feeling funny. I hope it's the effect of food on my body when I've been denying it the proper nutrition. I hope it's my body saying,"YES! Finally you've given me something to work with!"

I'm going downstairs where my family is at present. If it's a panic attack, it'll calm me down. If it's more, at least someone will know.


  1. Did you eventually calm down love? xo.

  2. Hey Rae hope you are okay ! Thinking of you! And praying you are alright ! Jalynn

  3. Scary stuff...hope you're feeling better!

  4. Hoping and praying everything is ok for you!!
    Love you girl!