Saturday, February 25, 2012

A Good Start to the Weekend ;)

Yesterday was actually a not-so-bad day :) I kept accountable every hour to my friend's Andi and Sarah about eating/purging. I started the morning off with breakfast which I haven't really properly done in ages. First I had toast with peanut butter and honey and a yogurt. Here's the problem though: When I start eating, I find it so difficult to stop. It's either eat nothing or eat a lot and purge. I felt so hungry and ended up having another slice of toast with PB and honey and a banana. I couldn't believe myself! I didn't want to start the day off purging though, like I have been lately. I felt so full throughout the entire day, that I didn't really eat much during work.

Problem #2: It was about 5pm and I'm covering for a girl at work who is on a cruise for the next two weeks. She's "the late person" and so I end up being alone at work for the last hour. Surrounded by food. I ended up eating a larabar (nuts and fruit) and couldn't stop again, ended up eating some Reese's buttercups and purging. Yes, I was disappointed I ended up purging, but my goal is 0-1 times/day which is much better than 4-7 times/day.

Shock Moment: (WARNING: TMI) When I purged, I was that broccoli? WHEN THE HECK DID I HAVE BROCCOLI?! It took me a bit, but I eventually remembered my mom had broccoli with her dinner and I had a few pieces she didn't eat. But that was 24 hours ago. I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be in my stomach after 24 hours, right?

I ended up going to Andi's house and we made dinner, well, what was safe for both of us. We had lemon pepper tilapia and brussels sprouts. She had a bottle of red wine we could absolutely not open which was actually quite funny because it took us forever. We had a glass while talking about life and eventually watched Ever After. It was a nice way to spend the evening with my best friend. I love you Andi!


  1. About the broccoli:

    There have been many studies done that measured the gastric emptying rate (the rate at which food leaves the stomach over time) of anorexics and bulimics. It has been found that the gastric emptying rate was dramatically slower (called delayed gastric emptying) than that of a normal person, but returned to normal after the reintroduction of a healthy diet. You can search it and find lots of studies and information.

  2. U look yellow. My Ed kinda says she's doing bttr then u u should look like tht. But then u say that u don't want to. Ur Ed is like threatening mine (if that makes since) back off ragan(s Ed)!!!!!!!!

  3. Hey so happy you had a good time with Andi! I keep posting you comments the last few days, only to have them eaten by my lovely IPhone :p so kind of it! I love reading your blog b/c you really help me so much to feel so NOT alone! I wish you weren't going through the things you were b/c I know how much it hurts and is so tough! Yet thank you so much for so honestly sharing it . You are so brave and truly just such a beautiful person- inside and out! As far as the broccoli incident, I had that happen before too :( I even asked my doctor about it b/c it freaked me out so much. It seems like there are certain foods I can't eat - no not the eating disorder talking- as in foods I like that just don't want to digest. Nice. Oh the joy of an eating disorder. Keep fighting. Thinking of you. jalynn

  4. I am glad you had a good time. Keep being accountable if that helps! That works for me! I understand how it is hard to go from eating to feeling like you cannot stop. I feel like that constantly. I either want to restrict or binge/purge chew/spit. Do you have a meal plan or a dietitian (I cannot remember)? Keep up the good work. Would posting help with accountability? Do you think restricting too much is leading to your b/p tendancies? I know it does for me!

  5. It's common for people with bulimia because the constant purging somehow makes your stomach empty slower.

  6. Omg when I had food poisoning a few weeks ago, I found myself throwing up food I'd eaten like, 8-10 hours before, I was like wtf?! Interesting what people have commented ^ about delayed gastric emptying etc. Thought my digestion was alright these days, but maybe not...not that I know anything about biology haha.
    Glad you had a good day anyway, and good job on hitting your target for maximum purges (y)