Friday, January 20, 2012

Pissed Off

I love my dad, but sometimes he says stupid things. I came home from a long day at work, and he asked me if I had dinner. I said I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which is true. Then he made this face >>> :/ and said, "That's not very nutritional." 


I had my 2-3 grains, protein, and fat. I was eating carrots as we were talking as my veg and I was planning on having fruit later. That completely fulfills my meal plan from Remuda. 

His reply, "I guess so." 

Having a PB & J sandwich and KEEPING it was such a success for me. I felt guilty enough for having it when I could have had something "healthier." That comment just increased the guilt. Shouldn't my parents be happy I HAD calories, and enough to meet my meal plan? I understand my parents are on a diet and they have certain things they can/cannot eat, but I'm NOT on their diet. 

So now I'm just in a really bad mood. I didn't handle it well. Even though my treatment team would be incredibly proud of me and would tell me it's OKAY to have PB & J, I just can't believe it when the voice in my head AND my parents are saying the same thing.


  1. I think it is wonderful that you kept your PBJ. I hope the rest of your evening went well.

  2. I totally get how you feel. Comments like this are so hard for me to just learn to let go of! Especially from family. Way to go girl you did great and I'm sorry you had to hear that! Hope your night got better! I left you a comment about your letter too yesterday but it didn't post ! Way to go! And btw you really are a very well spoken writter! - jalynn

  3. Gee I didn't mean to say way to go so many times but it copied on my iPhone and wouldn't let me correct at all! Oh well! Sounded so cheesy but I sincerely meant that I can tell you are really putting your whole heart into this all! <3 - j

  4. U should b proud, u have 2 remember that those who don't have eating disorders won't/ dont understand. Ragan+pbj= I can do this I can do this I can do this. Me+ dad asks if I want pbj= *PEANUT BUTTER?!?!! Ur so fat u wast uv space, if u eat that you'll gain 20 lbs on top uv ur already blubbery mess* ummmmmmm can I just have the bread? (*= thoughts)


    As alway STAY STRONG!!!